weird.. but nice

This time of year for the past couple years.. i have had my thyroid testing stuff done.. but we are taking the year off.. it is nice but weird to not have to go through it. I still had the stupid anti bodies last year.. but they only went up a little bit.. and my TG (which is pointless to measure since I still have the stupid anti bodies) is still nil. All and all, going the whole cancer stuff really taught me how to let go, because I have no control over any thing.

And going through all the gall bladder (i hate the name 'gall bladder', it makes it sound gross to me), bile leaking, pancreaticis stuff really taught me to value health and wellness. When I see people complain about life and stuff it makes me want to shake them.. as they have no idea how precious life really is, and how close we are all to death. Sorry for the morbid thoughts.. but after you go through major illness so close together, you think about that stuff.

And being sick, turned me into a person that worries about being sick again... When my neck is stiff.. is the lymph node we are watching getting bigger? Or when side hurts, is my bile duct leaking, or is scar tissue growing? Sigh... I am usually really good about not thinking about it.. except for when the above mentioned spots still hurts.
I asked one doc why it still hurt.. he said that those areas were traumatized.. and just not quite the same.. so some pain is normal. Granted.. the pain level is a 1000 times better since they diagnosed the bile salt diarrhea... (gross, it truly grosses me out) but every once in a while, feels like some one is stabbing me. Granted, this is usually after I do some heavy lift or stretching.. so i try and limit those movements.